Ode to Bob ~ He shall be missed

Ode to Bob ~ He shall be missed



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Monday, February 18, 2008

Is Chuck Norris Behind Me?

Dear Readers,
Yesterday I went to Memaw's after church for lunch as usual. We had tacos, yum. April, Jon, and I sat at our un-completely grownup table as usual and we talked about our random stuff... as usual. They were talking about Walker Texas Ranger and how cool Chuck Norris was/is. I then broke out in to song, as usual, singing, "cause the eyes of the Ranger are upon you, any wrong you do he's gonna see..." this is where I messed up since I have not seen the show in five years. I said when you are in danger look behind you, instead of when you are in Texas (look behind you, cause that's where the Ranger's gonna be). But, who cares, mine is cooler. Anywho, I started pretend choking and kept looking behind me to see if he was there and he wasn't! It was so disappointing. Then April told me that you had to be in Texas. Isn't that sad? I want to go to Texas and see if he is really behind me, cause that would be cool.
So, if the song was "when you are in danger look behind you", then Dad would have had Chuck Norris behind him twice today. First, this morning a lady hit him (while he was driving). It didn't hurt his truck except for the littlest scratch on his bumper. Then, when he was going to work he hit a dog. Don't worry Emy, he is fine (the dog and my dad). He said that the dog just got up and started following his truck, then fell over. But, he's up again. Personally, I wouldn't mind if the evil pit bull died. It tried to attack me once.
Stupid pit bulls and bees.
~Nicole

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't like pit bulls either, I agree with you on that one.
I have to admit I don't have any idea who Chuck Norris is.
So, what did you think of choir yesterday?
~HannahElizabeth

Lady of somethin' er 'nother... said...

I was laughing then I read " I have no idea who Chuck Norris is" and my face fell. Ok so it didn't fall off but mouth sorta did this flip thing and my smile went upside downish.

Anonymous said...

No, never! Sorry :)

Brandon's Girl said...

That's okay. Ya know, it's alot easier to comment people on your own blog. I think I shall!
~Nicole

Anonymous said...

YOU DON'T KNOW WHO CHUCK NORRIS IS?!?!?! That isn't living! Chuck Norris like, invented cool!! I love Chuck Norris jokes, too. My personal fave... ahem. Chuck Norris is so cool, when he jumps in the water, he doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris! And another: Chuck Norris is so cool, he can beleive it's not butter!! Hahahahahahaha! Hooray! Hooray for Chuck Norris! He's a christian, you know. He got saved a couple years ago. And I love the Walker Texas Ranger theme song. It really speaks to me. Especially since Chuck Norris sings it very badly!!
Bye!
-Jaz

Anonymous said...

Why am I so deprived in life!
If it wasn't for Nicole, I would have never even heard his name! Oh shame! oh Agony!!!

Sorry, I started quoting again. :)

By the way Nicole, is the photo at the top of your blog you?

Brandon's Girl said...

Yep, is me, I used to be cute. What happened? I guess we'll never know.
~Nicole

Anonymous said...

You are adorable darlin. Ask anybody, particularly your guyfriend:P But I hate pit bulls.

Brandon's Girl said...

awww, I love you Meggy! I knew I liked you! I'm kidding, not about me liking you, but... I like you anyway. Lol.
~Nicole

Anonymous said...

I didn't know who Chuck Norris was until tonight at church b/c Jazzy couldn't stop talking about him. :P There's a guy at our church who Jaz says looks just like him, but I've never seen Chuck Norris. Is he dead??
I'm glad the dog is fine, thanks for clearing that up! ;)

Brandon's Girl said...

NOOO!!! Chuck Norris isn't dead. He's alive and amazing. He's awesome!!! Have you never seen Walker Texas Ranger?!!! You and your sister are truly deprived. Well, I'm sorry Emy.
"Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits."
Oh yeah.
~Nicole

Anonymous said...

Oh, okay. No I've never seen Walker Texas Ranger. But I like the one about butter. :P LOL

Anonymous said...

Hi Colie

Anonymous said...

How are you Colie?

Anonymous said...

I'm commenting you Colie.

Brandon's Girl said...

Cool....? Lol, that's nice of you. Is that a hint? Alright, I'll go.
~Nicole

Anonymous said...

I'm commenting too.

Anonymous said...

No but you want comments. So I'm commenting you.

Brandon's Girl said...

Thank you Meggy, very nice too.
Yes, I want comments. They are nice. Alright, awesome!!!
~Nicole

Anonymous said...

I think you are beautiful Nicole!
The old photo kind of looks like you, only, now you have a lot more hair. lol! :)

Brandon's Girl said...

Thank goodness! I don't think I would look good bald... now... Creepy.
~Nicole

Anonymous said...

Probably not.

Anonymous said...

No, bald probably wouldn't be the best look for you, or anyone, really. :)

Anonymous said...

btw Colie I just watched that Walker Texas Ranger vid thing that you commented me with and it is funny, he really does look like a man that goes to our church!

Anonymous said...

Oh my word, that's hilarious! I so want to meet this guy!
~Nicole

Anonymous said...

The guy from our church that looks like Chuck Norris is one of my Dad's best friends! He was one of my Dad's groomsmen (sp?) and he looked even more like Chuck in the wedding pics! His name is Dwayne.
-Jaz

Anonymous said...

You should meet him, Colie.

Anonymous said...

Hi Colie.

Anonymous said...

You are getting a lot of comments Colie.

Anonymous said...

You have nice friends Colie.

Anonymous said...

You do have nice friends, Colie.
That's a cute nick-name.
I wish I had a cute nick-name. :-(
-jaz

Lady of somethin' er 'nother... said...

Jaz you do have a cute nick name. Arat is your cute nick name. Don't you love me.;D I learned it from the older girl*Jeddica* of the very tall family who used to sing and do revivals that Britter has a picture of in her bedroom. Try to figure out that hint.

Brandon's Girl said...

huh... confusion really hurts... Yeah... I guess I have nice friends... lol! I really want to meet Dwayne!
~Nicole

Anonymous said...

The "Heart for a Home" thingy???
How did she know that?
I miss them.
-Jaz

Brandon's Girl said...

Jaz sweety, she knows everybody, get used to it, lol!
~Nicole

Anonymous said...

How did who know what?!
I'm confused Colie!!!
Jaz, Jaz IS your cute nickname! :P
36...

Brandon's Girl said...

Sorry, you have to start on the other post :op . Mwhahahahaha!!!
You should tell other people to start commenting on mine.... start with MY GUY!!! Lol. Even he won't comment me... :o(
*depressed tear running down cheek*
Love you girly!
~Nicole

Anonymous said...

A little love for my Nicole!
I personally love #10! - Amanda J.

1. Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
4. Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.
5. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
6. Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
7. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
8. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
9. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
10. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
11. Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
12. A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
13. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
14. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.
15. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
16. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
17. Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes
18. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
19. Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
20. Chuck Norris can divide by zero
21. Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
22. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
23. Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
24. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
25. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
26. If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
27. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
28. Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.

29. Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris
30. Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out
31. There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks
32. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him
33. Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.
34. Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives
35. Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
36. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
37. When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris
38. Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.
39. You can lead a horse to water but cannot make him drink, unless you’re Chuck Norris
40. When somebody yells "Last one in is a rotten egg," Chuck Norris is never the rotten egg